Ada "Dementor" beneran nich! Hiii....

Buat para penggemar serial Harry Potter pasti tau tentang Dementor. Digambarkan oleh tokoh Lupin bahwa Dementor adalah...

Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them... Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself...soul- less and evil. You will be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life.
[harry potter wikia]

Atau dengan kata lain, Dementor punya kemampuan menyedot semangat hidup manusia sampe bisa jadi putus asa.

Belakangan ini, gue menemukan bahwa ternyata Dementor bukan cuma ada dalam fiksi. Repotnya, Dementor di dunia nyata lebih sulit dikenali. Kalo di cerita Harry Potter Dementor muncul dalam sosok yang mengerikan, berkulit kelabu dengan jari-jari kurus seperti kerangka, di dunia nyata mereka tampil seperti orang biasa. Mereka bisa aja duduk di sebelah lo di kantin, berdiri di belakang lo waktu ngantri karcis busway, atau yang lebih serem lagi: duduk di balik pintu bertuliskan "BOSS".

Persis seperti dalam cerita Harry Potter, berdekatan dengan para Dementor bisa bikin lo tiba-tiba merasa suram, putus asa, hidup tiada guna, negara serasa mau bangkrut, kiamat seakan minggu depan, kerja kayak nggak ada gunanya, dsb dsb. Pada stadium lanjutan, infeksi Dementor bisa mengakibatkan timbulnya rasa curiga kalo orang lain berhasil, sirik kalo liat orang lain senang, bahkan terasa dorongan ingin nyabot sukses orang. Dengan kata lain, Dementor itu menular, dan dampak penularannya sangat merugikan. Hati-hati!

Kenapa kita sebaiknya jangan sampe ketularan jadi Dementor?

Karena nggak ada orang yang seneng denger keluhan, termasuk diri kita sendiri. Semakin banyak lo mengeluh, semakin lo benci sama diri sendiri. Semakin lo benci sama diri sendiri, lo semakin yakin bahwa diri lo nggak berguna. Semakin lo yakin diri lo nggak berguna, semakin tertutup jalan untuk hidup lebih baik.

Kenali Dementor sejak dini!

Penampilan boleh nipu, tapi Dementor sejati nggak pernah bisa menyembunyikan sifat aslinya. Ciri-ciri yang paling gampang dikenali adalah:

1. Frekuensi curhat yang sangat tinggi, dengan topik masalah pribadi yang seolah penting banget untuk diketahui semua orang, dan nggak ada solusinya.
   
   Yang paling mengganggu dari kebiasaan Dementor yang satu ini adalah, mereka bisa bikin sebuah acara ngumpul yang tadinya 'seru' dan 'hore' jadi ngedrop dengan curhatan-curhatannya.
   
   Contoh:
   "Eh si X baru beli HP lho!" kata seseorang
   "Oh ya, apa merknya?" sambut yang lain antusias
   "Sony Ericsson, kalo nggak salah"
   "SE?! Wah siap-siap aja tuh, kan batrenya cepet bocor. Nih gue pake SE baru sebentar udah rese gini batrenya... blablabla... mana harga jualnya cepet jatuh... blablabla... mau beli lagi nggak ada duit... blablabla... apa-apa s eka rang mahal... blablabla... gaji nggak naik-naik..."
   
   Pokoknya begitu si Dementor angkat bicara, semua yang hadir tiba-tiba merasa suntuk, lesu, nggak bergairah. Atau dengan kata lain, ya itu tadi: ngedrop .
   
   
2. Dementor selalu mampu melihat sisi jelek dari segala sesuatu, nggak peduli sebagus apapun keadaannya.
   
   Kalo mau dibilang sebagai 'bakat', memang kemampuan Dementor yang satu ini nggak dimiliki kebanyakan orang. Saat semua orang terkagum-kagum atas kehebatan sesuatu, para Dementor dengan kejelian yang luar biasa selalu mampu menemukan celahnya.
   
   Contoh:
   "Gue kemarin ketemu sama suaminya Ibu X. Ya ampun, orangnya ganteng s eka li ya... udah gitu keliatannya baik, lagi."
   "Iya, gue juga pernah ketemu. Dia juga setia, lho..."
   "Jangan lupa, pinter pulak. Kalo nggak salah dia lulusan terbaik waktu kuliah dulu."
   "Pantesan karirnya juga bagus, ya. Sekarang posisinya udah lumayan tinggi, kan ?"
   "...kalo tidur pasti ngorok kaya babi," kata sang Dementor merusak suasana.
   
   
3. Dementor senang membandingkan diri dengan lawan bicara, sedemikian rupa sehingga dirinya terdengar jauh lebih apes, dan akhirnya lawan bicara menjadi sungkan.
   
   Contoh:
   "Hai, gue denger abis pindah rumah ya?"
   "Iya nih, biasa... pinjeman dari kantor..."
   "Ih enak ya, kantornya ngasih pinjemen rumah.. gue dong masih ngontrak mulu..."
   "Oh..."
   "Mana gaji nggak naik-naik, buat bayar kontrakan aja udah ngepas, gimana mau nabung buat beli rumah?"
   "Ehm... tapi..."
   "Udah mana s eka rang BBM naik, apa-apa ikut naik, makin c eka k aja deh rasanya... Kalo elu kan enak, gaji gede, fasilitas banyak..."
   "Eh... permisi dulu ya, mau gantung diri dulu bentar boleh?"
   
   
4. Dementor gemar mematikan semangat orang lain.
   
   Seperti pasukan pemadam kebakaran ngeliat api, semakin besar apinya, semakin giat upayanya untuk memadamkan.
   
   Contoh:
   "Gue mau coba bisnis baru nih!"
   "Bisnis apa?"
   "Jualan baju anak-anak"
   "Yahhh... hari gini jualan baju! Nggak liat tuh, di ITC yang jualan baju udah segambreng?"
   "...tapi koleksi gue unik-unik lho! Lain daripada yang lain deh!"
   "Alaaah... unik kaya apa sih, paling sebentar lagi juga pasaran. Liatin aja!"
   "Euh... gue juga berencana ngikutin perkembangan tren lho..."
   "Emangnya lu kira gampang? Gue pernah tuh, coba jualan baju kayak elu. Awalnya semangat, eh terakhirnya malah rugi. Mana barang dagangan dibawa kabur orang..."
   
   dst dst dst.

Kiat menghadapi Dementor.

Cara paling aman adalah: jangan dideketin. Begitu seseorang yang ada di d eka t lo menunjukkan ciri-ciri seorang Dementor, segeralah jauh-jauh. Cari alasan apa aja, bilang mau beli rokok ke Ujung Kulon kek, mau nguras sumur kek, terserah. Yang penting jangan deket-deket mer eka . Ingat, Dementor itu sangat menular!

Checklist Dementor (Apakah Anda telah terasuki Dementor??).

Sedangkan bagi kalian yang selama ini telah menjadi Dementor tapi nggak menyadarinya, coba teliti daftar berikut. Kalo kalian merasa setuju dengan 5 pernyataan atau lebih, hati-hati, kalian sedang menjelma menjadi Dementor. Segeralah minta pertolongan profesional, sebelum terlambat...

• Sebagian besar orang lebih beruntung dari gue.
• Nggak ada orang yang bisa hidup layak dengan gaji sekecil gue.
• Semakin lama, kondisi perekonomian semakin buruk. Gue nggak tau bulan depan masih bisa hidup atau enggak.
• Gue nggak tau gue ingin jadi apa?
• Gue benci sama kantor gue, tapi kalo gue resign nanti nggak ada kantor lain yang mau nerima!
• Naik pangkat? Jangan ah. Ntar kalo gagal gimana?
• Tentu aja dia naik pangkat. Rajin jilat pantat, pasti.
• Dari dulu memang gue ditakdirkan apes!
• Gue nggak pinter, makanya nggak bisa sukses kayak orang lain...
• Orang tua gue asal-asalan nyekolahin gue, makanya gue jadi kaya gini sekarang...
• Gue nggak kebayang gimana caranya biar bisa hidup lebih baik...
• Orang emang gampang kasih nasehat. Mer eka belum ngerasain susahnya hidup gue, sih.
• Percuma gue kerja keras, toh tiap bulan gajinya cuma segitu-segitu aja.
• Orang lain enak punya duit buat refreshing. Gue boro-boro refreshing, makan aja susah. Makanya harap maklum kalo gue stress.
• Gue udah ketuaan untuk nyoba hal baru.
• Kenapa sih nggak ada orang yang ngertiin gue...
• Orang lain enak, punya orang tua kaya buat minjem duit kalo butuh. Giliran gue, yang ada emak gue nodong mulu buat beli beras.
• Kalo ada orang baik sama gue, pasti ada maunya.
• Boss muji gue? Pasti dia salah orang.
• "7 Habits"-nya Steven Covey? Itu kan buatan Amerika, mana bisa berlaku di sini.
• Luna Maya aja masih ngejomblo, apalagi gue yang jelek begini.
• Emang dunia makin parah. Kucing aja makin hari makin kurang ajar.
  

Pesan bagi para Dementor...

Tema utama hidup kalian adalah: merasa diri sebagai orang paling apes sedunia.

Padahal sekarang penduduk dunia ada 6.7 miliar orang. Jadi, lo harus mengalahkan keapesannya 6.699.999.999 orang. Itu nggak gampang, lho. Apa iya lo sehebat itu?

^_^

(Ditulis oleh: Agung Mbot dari milis yang saya ikutin....)

Kearifan dari gunung

Seorang bocah mengisi waktu luang dengan kegiatan mendaki gunung bersama ayahnya. Entah mengapa, tiba-tiba si bocah tersandung akar pohon dan jatuh. "Aduhh!" jeritannya memecah keheningan suasana pegunungan. Si bocah amat terkejut, ketika ia mendengar suara di kejauhan menirukan teriakannya persis sama, "Aduhh!". Dasar anak-anak, ia berteriak lagi, "Hei! Siapa kau?" Jawaban yang terdengar, "Hei! Siapa kau?" Lantaran kesal mengetahui suaranya selalu ditirukan, si anak berseru, "Pengecut kamu!" Lagi-lagi ia terkejut ketika suara dari sana membalasnya dengan umpatan serupa. Ia bertanya kepada sang ayah, "Apa yang terjadi?" Dengan penuh kearifan sang ayah tersenyum, "Anakku, coba perhatikan." Lelaki itu berkata keras, "Saya kagum padamu!" Suara di kejauhan menjawab, Saya kagum padamu!" Sekali lagi sang ayah berteriak "Kamu sang juara!" Suara itu menjawab, "Kamu sang juara!" Sang bocah sangat keheranan, meski demikian ia tetap belum mengerti. Lalu sang ayah menjelaskan, "Suara itu adalah gema, tapi sesungguhnya itulah kehidupan."

Kehidupan memberi umpan balik atas semua ucapan dan tindakanmu.

Dengan kata lain, kehidupan kita adalah sebuah pantulan atau bayangan atas tindakan kita. Bila kamu ingin mendapatkan lebih banyak cinta di dunia ini, ya ciptakan cinta di dalam hatimu.Bila kamu menginginkan tim kerjamu punya kemampuan tinggi, ya tingkatkan kemampuan itu.

Hidup akan memberikan kembali segala sesuatu yang telah kau berikan kepadanya. Ingat, hidup bukan sebuah kebetulan tapi sebuah bayangan diri Anda!

salam sukses dunia & akherat!

Unlock Your Self Improvement power

When we look at a certain object, a painting for example – we won’t be able to appreciate what’s in it, what is painted and what else goes with it if the painting is just an inch away from our face. But if we try to take it a little further, we’ll have a clearer vision of the whole art work.

We reach a point in our life when we are ready for change and a whole bunch of information that will help us unlock our self improvement power. Until then, something can be staring us right under our nose but we don’t see it. The only time we think of unlocking our self improvement power is when everything got worst. Take the frog principle for example –

Try placing Frog A in a pot of boiling water. What happens? He twerps! He jumps off! Why? Because he is not able to tolerate sudden change in his environment – the water’s temperature. Then try Frog B: place him in a luke warm water, then turn the gas stove on. Wait til the water reaches a certain boiling point. Frog B then thinks “Ooh… it’s a bit warm in here”.

People are like Frog B in general. Today, Susi thinks Bejo hates her. Tomorrow, Parto walks up to her and told her he hates her. Anna stays the same and doesn’t mind her what her friends says. The next day, she learned that Tuti and Jono also abhors her. Susi doesn’t realize at once the importance and the need for self improvement until the entire community hates her.

We learn our lessons when we experience pain. We finally see the warning signs and signals when things get rough and tough. When do we realize that we need to change diets? When none of our jeans and shirts would fit us. When do we stop eating candies and chocolates? When all of our teeth has fallen off. When do we realize that we need to stop smoking? When our lungs have gone bad. When do we pray and ask for help? When we realize that we’re gonna die tomorrow.

The only time most of us ever learn about unlocking our self improvement power is when the whole world is crashing and falling apart. We think and feel this way because it is not easy to change. But change becomes more painful when we ignore it.

Change will happen, like it or hate it. At one point or another, we are all going to experience different turning points in our life – and we are all going to eventually unlock our self improvement power not because the world says so, not because our friends are nagging us, but because we realized its for our own good.

Happy people don’t just accept change, they embrace it. Now, you don’t have to feel a tremendous heat before realizing the need for self improvement. Unlocking your self improvement power means unlocking yourself up in the cage of thought that “its just the way I am”. It is such a poor excuse for people who fear and resist change. Most of us program our minds like computers.

Jen repeatedly tells everyone that she doesn’t have the guts to be around groups of people. She heard her mom, her dad, her sister, her teacher tell the same things about her to other people. Over the years, that is what Jen believes. She believes its her story. And what happens? Every time a great crowd would troop over their house, in school, and in the community – she tends to step back, shy away and lock herself up in a room. Jen didn’t only believed in her story, she lived it.

Jen has to realize that she is not what she is in her story. Instead of having her story post around her face for everyone to remember, she has to have the spirit and show people “I am an important person and I should be treated accordingly!”

Self improvement may not be everybody’s favorite word, but if we look at things in a different point of view, we might have greater chances of enjoying the whole process instead of counting the days until we are fully improved. Three sessions in a week at the gym would result to a healthier life, reading books instead of looking at porns will shape up a more profound knowledge, going out with friends and peers will help you take a step back from work and unwind. And just when you are enjoying the whole process of unlocking your self improvement power, you’ll realize that you’re beginning to take things light and become happy.

Why Is It Important to Improve Your self?

Sometimes, when all our doubts, fears and insecurities wrap ourselves up, we always come up with the idea of “I wish I was somebody else.” More often than not, we think and believe that someone or rather, most people are better than us.- when in reality, the fact is, most people are more scared than us.

You spot a totally eye-catching girl sitting by herself at a party, casually sipping on a glass of Asti Spumanti. You think to yourself, “she looks so perfectly calm and confident.” But if you could read thru her transparent mind, you would see a bunch of clouds of thoughts and you might just be amazed that she’s thinking “are people talking about why I am seated here alone?... Why don’t guys find me attractive? …I don’t like my ankles, they look too skinny… I wish I was as intelligent as my best friend.”

We look at a young business entrepreneur and say “Wooh… what else could he ask for?” He stares at himself at the mirror and murmur to himself, “I hate my big eyes… I wonder why my friends won’t talk to me… I hope mom and dad would still work things out.”

Isn’t it funny? We look at other people, envy them for looking so outrageously perfect and wish we could trade places with them, while they look at us and thinks of the same thing. We are insecure of other people who themselves are insecure of us. We suffer from low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and lose hope in self improvement because we are enveloped in quiet desperation.

Sometimes, you notice that you have an irritating habit like biting off your finger nails, having a foul mouth, and you – of all people, is the last to know.

I have a friend who never gets tired of talking. And in most conversations, she is the only one who seems to be interested in the things she has to say. So all of our other friends tend to avoid the circles whenever she’s around, and she doesn’t notices how badly she became socially handicapped – gradually affecting the people in her environment.

One key to self improvement is to LISTEN and TALK to a trusted friend. Find someone who you find comfort in opening up with even the most gentle topics you want to discuss. Ask questions like “do you think I am ill-mannered?”, “Do I always sound so argumentative?”, “Do I talk too loud?”, “Does my breath smell?”, “Do I ever bore you when were together?”. In this way, the other person will obviously know that you are interested in the process of self improvement. Lend her your ears for comments and criticisms and don’t give her answers like “Don’t exaggerate! That’s just the way I am!” Open up your mind and heart as well. And in return, you may want to help your friend with constructive criticism that will also help her improve her self.

One of Whitney Houston’s songs says “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.” True enough. In order to love others, you must love yourself too. Remember, you cannot give what you do not have.

Before telling other people some ways on how to improve themselves, let them see that you yourself is a representation and a product of self improvement. Self improvement makes us better people, we then inspire other people, and then the rest of the world will follow.

Stop thinking of yourselves as second-rate beings. Forget the repetitive thought of “If only I was richer… if only I was thinner” and so on. Accepting your true self is the first step to self improvement. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others only to find out at the end that we’ve got 10 more reasons to envy them.

We all have our insecurities. Nobody is perfect. We always wish we had better things, better features, better body parts, etc. But life need not to be perfect for people to be happy about themselves.Self improvement and loving yourself is not a matter of shouting to the whole world that you are perfect and you are the best. It’s the virtue of acceptance and contentment. When we begin to improve ourselves, we then begin to feel contented and happy.

See...
Live your life...!

Your-7-days-program-to-self-improvement

I seem to lost count on how many times I've read and heard of celebrity marriages failing almost left and right. Not that I care (and personally I don't), it seems strange that we often see movie and TV stars as flawless people, living the fairytale life of riches and glamour. I suppose we all have to stop sticking our heads in the clouds and face reality.

There are many ways to lose your sense of self-esteem despite of how trivial it could get. But whatever happens, we should all try not to lose our own sense of self.

So what does it take to be a cut above the rest? Here are some of the things you can think and improve on that should be enough for a week.

1. Know your purpose
   Are you wandering through life with little direction - hoping that you'll find happiness, health and prosperity? Identify your life purpose or mission statement and you will have your own unique compass that will lead you to your truth north every time.
   This may seem tricky at first when you see yourself to be in a tight or even dead end. But there's always that little loophole to turn things around and you can make a big difference to yourself.
2. Know your values
   What do you value most? Make a list of your top 5 values. Some examples are security, freedom, family, spiritual development, learning. As you set your goals for 2005 - check your goals against your values. If the goal doesn't align with any of your top five values - you may want to reconsider it or revise it.
   The number shouldn't discourage you, instead it should motivate you to do more than you can ever dreamed of.
3. Know your needs
   Unmet needs can keep you from living authentically. Take care of yourself. Do you have a need to be acknowledged, to be right, to be in control, to be loved? There are so many people who lived their lives without realizing their dreams and most of them end up being stressed or even depressed for that matter. List your top four needs and get them met before it's too late!
4. Know your passions
   You know who you are and what you truly enjoy in life. Obstacles like doubt and lack of enthusiasm will only hinder you, but will not derail your chance to become the person you ought to be. Express yourself and honor the people who has inspired you to become the very person you wanted to be.
5. Live from the inside out
   Increase your awareness of your inner wisdom by regularly reflecting in silence. Commune with nature. Breathe deeply to quiet your distracted mind. For most of us city slickers it's hard to even find the peace and quiet we want even in our own home. In my case I often just sit in a dimly lit room and play some classical music. There's sound, yes, but music does soothe the savage beast.
6. Honor your strengths
   What are your positive traits? What special talents do you have? List three - if you get stuck, ask those closest to you to help identify these. Are you imaginative, witty, good with your hands? Find ways to express your authentic self through your strengths. You can increase your self-confidence when you can share what you know to others.
7. Serve others
   When you live authentically, you may find that you develop an interconnected sense of being. When you are true to who you are, living your purpose and giving of your talents to the world around you, you give back in service what you came to share with others -your spirit - your essence. The rewards for sharing your gift with those close to you is indeed rewarding, much more if it were to be the eyes of a stranger who can appreciate what you have done to them.
   

Self-improvement is indeed one type of work that is worth it. It shouldn't always be within the confines of an office building, or maybe in the four corners of your own room. The difference lies within ourselves and how much we want to change for the better.

Good Luck...
May God always be with you!